It’s the most wonderful time of the year–except when COVID finds its way into your system. Stupid COVID . . . always at the worst possible time! I had intended to write this post much earlier this week, but only now, on day 4, do I feel like I have the brainpower to write anything. I am grateful that I can still travel to Minnesota in a few days, but my foot surgery now has to be bumped out two months because they require that you’re symptom-free for 30 days prior to surgery. Darn, darn, darn. Oh, well. Nothing I can do about it. Enough about COVID, let’s talk about my favorite thing–SINGING!
As I mentioned in part one, finding a choir was a high priority for me during our time in Bend. I knew I wanted three things in my ideal choir: 1) upbeat music, 2) an emphasis on fun over seriousness, and 3) a kind, welcoming group. However, I was treading carefully after being traumatized by my choir hunting experience in DC.
I found a possible contender listed in our Community Ed Activities booklet and reached out to the director in advance to see if it was okay to attend a session before committing. I wanted to make sure it FELT right before I said yes. And while not expensive, it did have a cost to join, so of course I wanted to do my due diligence.
The director graciously obliged, so I showed up on a blisteringly hot day in late September to check it out. I noticed how nervous I was driving over; not because I had to audition–there were none, thank God–but because I so desperately wanted it to work out. And I’m sure the fact that I hadn’t done any choral singing for 12 years wasn’t helping things either. When I stepped into the choir room, a wave of nostalgia sweep over me. The room was large and open with a high ceiling. Chalkboards lined the walls and were covered in musical scribbles. People were chatting excitedly with one another, reconnecting after a summer apart. The room had 5 different tiers, in a semi-circle structure, all centering around the middle where the conductor stood. There were chairs on every tier, each with a perfect view of the conductor. This familiar shape was so comforting–just like my high school choir and band rooms I’d spent hundreds of hours in. :)
I noticed the crowd make-up was about 60% retirees, 30% middle-aged folks, and 10% college students. About what I expected. And the split was roughly 80% women, 20% men–also pretty typical. I checked out a packet of music and grabbed an open seat. In the past I sang Soprano 1, which means if there’s multiple notes on the soprano line, that I would take the higher ones. However, my voice has gotten lower over the years, so I decided I’d give Soprano 2 a try for the first time (taking the lower notes on splits).
After a few more minutes of chaos we got down to business and sight-read all eleven pieces. It was a ridiculously hot evening and the room was sweltering. I remember thinking how funny it was to be sitting there in my sleeveless dress sweating my butt off while singing Christmas tunes. :) As we got to the end of the evening, I was assessing the pluses and minuses. On the plus side: the director ran a tight rehearsal and kept things moving, seven of the eleven pieces had been composed by our director and would be debuted by us (SO COOL!), and finally, many of the songs had a very synthesizer-heavy, Mannheim Steamroller vibe, which just so happened to be one of my favorite Christmas albums as a child. A definite plus in my book. Only a couple minuses: we were required to buy $100 concert attire, which I’d only be able to use a couple times and; after two and a half hours, both my voice and my attention span were shot. All in all though, I came away feeling good about it and wrote my check to join the next week.
Over the next 11 weeks we gathered each Tuesday to practice in preparation for our two concerts in the first weekend in December. It was very satisfying watching the pieces come together and in the final two weeks the instrumentalists joined us, adding a brass quintet, a string quartet, a synthesizer, and three percussionists.
That first rehearsal with instruments really moved me. We started going through the music like usual, but each one sounded like an entirely new song with the instrumentalists. The sound was so all-encompassing too, like it was filling up every inch of the room. And each time the synthesizer struck a low note, my whole body would vibrate. It was a very full-bodied experience and reminded me of what I love so much about making music–how each part has its place and is central to the whole. And how the beauty of what you create together is more than the sum of its parts; it’s downright magical!
I was a nervous wreck the week before the concerts. I was sure I was going to get sick and not be able to perform, which would have broken my heart (and also made me realize how important this had become to me). My anxiety had me dreaming up scenarios where I was the only one who sang at a silent moment or tripped over my pants and fell on the stage. So much to worry about! But I think what really got me worked up was that people were paying to see us and usually I sang for free, so in my head that upped the pressure.
My stomach was in knots as I stepped onto the stage for our first concert. We were in a beautiful venue called the Tower Theatre, Bend’s main performing arts venue. I knew from googling the venue’s size (and our near sold-out status) that there were 450 pairs of eyes on us. I tried to calm myself but my pants were digging into my waist and my lip gloss was too sticky–making my lips stick together. I felt very out of practice with performing. But as often is the case with me, my nerves lose their grip as I get caught up in the music. I’m pleased to say that I was much calmer by act two and the second show was down-right fun.
The concert included our eleven songs, 15-minute performances by both the brass quintet and string quartet, and an audience sing-along. Including the 20 minute intermission, it ran about two hours fifteen minutes. In the photo below you’ll see me standing along the aisle next to the audience right before we began the sing-along.
I was blessed to have two friends (shoutout to Gail and Lindsey) and my entire family come to watch. It felt really special having someone in the crowd there for me both days.
There was no gathering afterwards, just goodbyes and the handing in of our music. It felt like such an abrupt end to me and I noticed myself feeling down in the days to follow (something akin to a post-Christmas letdown). I desperately wanted to listen back to all the music, but most was performed for the first time, so there were no recordings online. I allowed myself some time to feel sad over it ending, but also saw the good in it–I had obviously found something that fit if I was this depressed about it ending. Thankfully, I have two more opportunities to sing with this group in the spring. The March concert begins rehearsals in early January and will be classical music (on the fence about that one, not my favorite kind of music), and the May concert will be thematic (like Broadway, 70’s, country, etc). I will DEFINITELY be doing that one. And I will most definitely be back for next year’s Christmas concert. What an absolute joy it is to be singing again. Music grounds me in a way that nothing else does. Cheers to finding the right fit! Happy holidays all!
