This past weekend was pretty much nonstop social engagements. We started the weekend with an Embassy-wide party at a mission member’s home. The party started around sundown (around 5:30) and invitees were asked to bring wine or a dish to pass. The Marines were also grilling hot dogs and hamburgers as a fundraiser to offset the costs of the upcoming Marine Ball in November (YIPPEE!!).
The Marines also erected a giant outdoor movie screen and projector and showed the Angry Birds Movie for the kids. BEST IDEA EVER. Nia was enchanted with the idea of an outdoor movie. So great having her occupied so we could get to know people.
The thing that surprised me though was that as people trickled in I found myself getting more and more overwhelmed. Usually I thrive in large party settings like that, but with only knowing a handful of the 100+ attendees, I felt more like abandoning ship than diving in.
I had forgotten how hard it is to be new. We haven’t been “new” in 4 years and I remember I didn’t like it then either. I’d much rather know everyone and be the social butterfly floating between groups introducing people. It’s so frustrating being new – names flying at you every few minutes, awkward conversations and not knowing who to eat with when it comes time to sit down. Ughh. I was totally wiped after about 90 minutes, which is very unusual for me.
Then, to top it off, on Saturday morning we decided to go to the Farmer’s Market (really more like a craft market, but with some food). It took place in the yard of a hotel, adjacent to their outdoor dining area. There were close to 70 vendors and the place was swarming with people, most of them white expats. Everyone seemed to know each other and was caught up in animated conversations. I was so envious of the intimacy and comfort they had with each other. Funny how one can feel so lonely, despite being surrounded by hundreds of people. (Insert dramatic sigh here)
Granted, I know this phase passes, but I just want to acknowledge how much it sucks and the ridiculous amount of effort and energy it takes to develop entirely new relationships every 2 years. Definitely one of the major downsides of this lifestyle. Thankfully, the weekend ended on a high note with an intimate dinner for 5 hosted at someone’s house. So much easier to connect and engage in those kind of settings.
On days like those I try to remind myself that it’s all about the baby steps, and that I need to focus on simply developing one relationship at a time. Starting my job will also help a lot. So will getting Nia in Kindergarten, as then we’ll have the school community too. Thanks for listening to my complaints folks, it feels good to get it of my chest.
PS – Scholasticah and her girls move on to the compound tomorrow and our nanny starts Friday! Things are coming together nicely on the home front at least.
Photo credit:Â jamme-foodrootsafrica.jimdo.com
