Realities of Foreign Service Life: My 2 cents for the Newcomers

Hey all – Perhaps you’ve noticed I haven’t been writing much.  Well, it hasn’t been for lack of interest, it’s just that I prefer to jump into the deep end quickly when arriving in a new place, as I’ve found that it makes me feel more connected and settled.

So, in no particular order, here’s what I’ve been up to:

1. Moving.  Ick.  Yes, our stuff is comforting but each and every time I watch the 100+ boxes come through the door I question why we need it all (and this after downsizing 25% in Manila and 30% in Peru).  I swear it multiplies in the night when I’m not looking…
2. Getting my volunteer on with AAFSW (Associates of the American Foreign Service Worldwide).  I self-selected to be the Happy Hour coordinator for the incoming classes of brand-spankin-new foreign service officers (and their families).  Last night was my first Happy Hour (although they’ve been going on for a few years now).  I jazzed it up a bit by substituting wine for ice cream sundaes (my absolute fave!) and awkward mingling for a killer ‘speed meeting’ event (think speed dating minus the awkward follow-up).

Happily, it was a mega-success!  We had 30ish veterans, 30ish newcomers and 20 kids too.  These folks had just handed in their bid lists that morning (a nerve-wracking process each and every time no matter how many times you do it) and were overflowing with questions about specific posts, birthing, housing, transit, safety and loads of other stuff.

As the night progressed, I noticed myself giving a lots of specific advice but a few larger pieces of general advice about the realities of foreign service life.  I want to share this broader advice in my blog as well, because I know that there are a lot of soon-to-be-officers (and spouses) that are reading – in fact, I met 5 last night.  Turns out Novakistan is kinda famous.  :)

So here goes…

1. Every post has good and bad aspects.  I’ve met people who were miserable in London and others who couldn’t say enough good things about western Africa.  Those who thrive are the ones who choose a useful perspective and proactively look for the good things about a location.
2. When signing up for the foreign service, you’re basically handing over control for a good portion of your life.  You will no longer choose what country you live in, where you live and what furniture makes up the space you call home.  You may be evacuated at a  moment’s notice or you may be forced to separate from your spouse for a year while they head to a hot zone.  Again, perspective is the key to success.  The other thing that I’ve learned is simply to roll with whatever you’re dealt and trust that it will work out in the long run (because it usually does).  Keep setting big goals and moving toward them on a macro level, but let go of the particles, or the exact means of how YOU THINK you should get to the end goal.  Turns out that there’s often a richer path to your goal than the one you dreamed up.
3. You are at all times a representative of the US government.  You never get a break and people will be observing you at all times.  When you treat locals badly or make a drunken scene in public, people make a judgment about that and file it away with their other opinions about Americans.  Therefore, before acting, writing or speaking, always consider the implications of what you’re about to do and think about if the impact you’ll make will reflect positively or poorly on the United States.  You really are advancing or harming diplomatic relations with your everyday actions.  A burden?  Sometimes.  A great opportunity to have a positive influence?  Always.

So there you have it.  My two cents.  Veterans, what other general advice would you add to this list about the realities of foreign service life?