Parenting is hard. Like really hard. Just when I think we’ve gotten through one issue, the next comes on full force. I find that aspect of parenting really exhausting. However, it has helped to have a teacher Mom, a Doctor sister, a teacher sister and a child psychologist sister. They are constantly giving me recommendations of books that can assist with whatever issue we’re wrestling with at the moment. I have been grateful to find these resources and thought I’d do a post to share the best of the best that I’ve found with you. I hope you find it useful!
Books that Teach Kids About the Impact of Their Actions/Choices
This was a recent acquisition at Christmas. What is unique about it is that it is a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book for kids. At various points your child gets to choose what behavior Danny will go with and the story progresses from there. There are 9 different outcomes for Danny depending on what your child chooses for him. It’s a fun way to show kids how their decisions affect those around them and how their day can play out in ways depending on the choices they make. Highly recommend!
Books for Behavioral Modification
At Christmas Auntie Jenna gifted Nia one of her favorite books that she uses with her therapy clients. It was called “Well, I Can Top That”. Imagine our surprise when we realized that very author was coming to Nia’s school for a week-long residency in mid-January. I went to see her speak and was absolutely blown away (no lie, I cried during her talk – so moving). She was a former elementary school guidance counselor who couldn’t find the kind of books she wanted to teach about behavioral topics relevant to kids. So what did she do? She wrote more than 70 books on various behavioral issues that kids deal with (like lying, bad attitude, anxiety, bullying, etc). Here is a list of all her books and the topics to which they correspond. Do check her out. We’ve found her books so valuable!
Books that Teach Mindfulness, Meditation, Intuition and Self-Confidence
Books that Address Fear of Failing and Perfectionism
Fear of failing/making mistakes & perfectionism has been an issue for Nia ever since she started Kindergarten. It was really paralyzing her for a long time and these books helped turn that around. Auntie Jenna also pointed us to the last book, which is a workbook that you can do with your child. Super helpful!!
Books That Teach about Sex & the Body
We’ve used the “It’s Not the Stork” book since Nia was 5 as a framework for talking about the differences between girl’s and boy’s anatomy and how babies are made. We wanted her to know & use the correct names for her body parts and we also wanted to truthfully answer her questions about where babies came from. We recently used this book to talk her through the specifics of sex and how you end up with a baby. We were mostly met with a lot of “ewwwws” and “gross” but I could tell from her body language that she felt empowered by the fact that we would share this “big kid” kind of information with her. We will soon be upgrading to the “It’s so Amazing!” book (geared for 7-10 year olds), as her curiosity seems insatiable on these topics. :)
Book that Introduces the Concept of Inappropriate Touch & Bodily Awareness
A must-have book, in my opinion. Very well-written and covers a whole host of body-safety-related topics.
Books with Empowering Stories about Women, People of Color, Immigrants and Refugees
Our Parenting Experiment
As is frequently the case during transition periods, we saw Nia’s behavior deteriorate a lot in the first months in India. She had also become heavily dependent on the tablet, so much so that that’s all she ever wanted to do. We came up with this idea to try to both regulate her screentime and provide us with a way to incentivize her to choose the behaviors that we believe are important to being a successful human being. Hence Nia’s Chart was born!
Each day Nia has the opportunity to earn up to 2 coins in each of the areas listed above. Each coin can be redeemed at any time for 10 minutes of screentime. At the end of the day before we read her bedtime book we take out the chart and talk about her day. We go through each of the 5 qualities and talk about where she excelled and where she could have done better. We then all agree on a 0, 1 or 2 coin rating for that category.
The self-reflection piece has been so important, as it helps her notice the impact of her behavior on others. It also offers us a built-in time each day to champion her for the things she’s excelling at and remind her that tomorrow she’ll get another try at the areas that frequently challenge her (most commonly Focus & Listening). I am shocked by how accurately she can assess her day. We are usually all in sync with what number of coins we feel should be awarded for each category. It’s so cool to see her developing that level of self-awareness. It’s also helped with the endless asking for more tablet time, as when she’s out of coins, she knows she’s done for that day.
I hope you found some of these resources useful. Please do share any favorites from your households!
